Most IRL relationships don’t mirror what we see in popular rom-coms and movies ... extravagant trips to Paris, expensive gifts, uber public (and sometimes cringy) declarations of love … It's all a bit unrealistic. But when you’re constantly shown a fictional, scripted idea of what a sexy, fun, romantic relationship should look like, it can cause you to compare your REAL one and feel like it’s flatlined.

We’re here to debunk that.

You see, when you’re in a relationship, especially a long-term one, the key to keeping it adventurous, intimate, romantic, and fun is finding ways to make the ‘every day’ memorable.

Intentionally.

And while we’re all for trips to Paris and gifted Gucci bags, in this economy date nights (and every ‘days’) tend to fall more on the realistic side. Movie nights. Dinners out. Picnics. Hikes. You know, traditional things that couples do together all the time. It’s those things that build the foundation for intimacy, trust, and forges the deep connections that keep desire and passion alive. These moments are solidified in the every day. NOT with lavish gifts or “You Complete Me” moments.

So how can you take those real moments and intentionally do them in a way that ignites the spark and fosters deep intimacy?

You keep reading! We’re diving into 8 ‘every day’ things that you can do with your partner that’ll help fuel those flames of love and desire.

We’re never gonna knock a good ‘Netflix and Chill’ night, but there are some things you can do to make it more of a date, and less of a lead-in to lovin’. Movies are a great way to spend time together as a couple. You’re together, comfy, relaxed, and looking to be entertained. It’s valuable bonding time where the energy is high, and the expectations are simply to relax and be entertained.

Here are some ways you can take this ‘every day’ event and turn it into a more intimate experience:

Plan it. Just like you would for a date you would go on outside of the house. Choose the movie together, and decide beforehand if and what you’re going to eat (and maybe even make it together - see tip #2).

Prepare your space. Candles count, but if you’re watching an action movie, a musical, or a dance flick, clear some room and try to duplicate the moves you see on film. It may sound silly, but vulnerability is extremely intimate. It builds trust and deep connection. And doing silly things together is a bonding experience, too. If we asked you about a time when you laughed so hard that you cried or snorted, or your face hurt - even if it happened 10 years ago - you’d remember it. That same methodology applies here. Who knows? Maybe you’ll discover a talent for fencing or boxing. But in the meantime, you’ll have a lot of fun and create a lasting, memorable moment for years to come.

Dress up. We understand that comfy pants are a requirement for a good snuggle session, but you can still accessorize with your hair and makeup. It’s a date, after all. You want to feel your most confident and attractive. So go all out!. Don’t forget about fragrance, either. Scent is scientifically proven to be a powerful memory trigger, so make your mark with an amazing perfume. We know a little something about this and have created several sensual, seductive perfumes that are infused with pheromones, which amplify attraction and desire. Surprise him with a new scent and you could end up leaving quite an indelible mark.

Cooking - whether you’re good at it or not - is wildly romantic. It’s tactile, sensual, intimate, and can be a LOT of fun if done right (not to mention a great precursor for things to come).

If neither of you is particularly good at cooking, decide on a recipe that you’ll both like, and begin your date at the grocery store. Choose the ingredients together, and then head home to start making the magic.

On the contrary, if one - or both - of you is a kitchen consigliere, consider teaching the other how to make a traditional family dish. That will amplify your bonding experience, as you’ll be sharing something personal that anchors you to your family.

Remember, ambiance is key to creating a memorable moment, so set the mood by lighting some candles, putting on music, and setting the table. Once the meal is done, you can create a more sensual experience by feeding each other the food you cooked, or getting clever with how (or on which part of you) each dish is served.

We all need to eat. And there isn’t a more ‘every day’ experience than cooking. If you can make it into an experience you both really enjoy, you’ll give yourself an abundant amount of opportunities to grow and connect as a couple. Who knows? You may even prefer dinner at home to going out to eat!

Any kind of outdoor activity that gets your body moving increases the production of endorphins. Like serotonin, these neurotransmitters are exceptional mood boosters. Higher endorphin levels can leave you feeling calm, clear-headed, and in a fantastic mood, which makes it a perfect bonding activity to do with your partner.

Hiking in nature, whether it’s a gentle walk through a wooded area or something more challenging, provides a great opportunity to build trust. You may need to help each other over rocks, or work as a team to get up a steep hill. Whatever the hike entails, at the end of it you’ll have accomplished a goal together. And while that may not seem like an overtly sexy or seductive thing, setting a goal and accomplishing it as a couple is a serious form of intimacy.

A little fresh air can work wonders for your mood and mindset (see tip #3). And having a picnic is a great way to enjoy nature and each other's company in a private setting. Sharing food is one of life’s joys, and opting for a spontaneous picnic can be exciting, different, and fun to connect in a different place than on the couch, in the kitchen, or at your favorite restaurant.

One of the best things about picnics is that they can be as simple or as elaborate as you want them to be. If you're short on time, you can grab some sandwiches and drinks from your local deli. Or, if you're feeling more ambitious, you can prepare a gourmet meal complete with wine and cheese. No matter what level of effort you put into it, picnicking is a great way to relax with your partner, free from distractions, in a new location and away from the hustle of daily life.

Pick a day to meet for lunch. Or meet in the park for a quick break before heading out with friends in the evening (#girlsnight). Be spontaneous!

These one-on-one private rendezvous provide the perfect environment to have deep conversations, plan for your future, discuss your goals, or plan more date nights. It’s in moments like these that you can deepen your connection with one another.

Up for some friendly competition? Nothing brings that out more in a couple than playing a game together. It’s fun, far more engaging than streaming the latest series, ensures that you keep the communication alive, and can even help you get to know each other better!

Here are some ideas for fun couple games that don’t require anything but your minds and a little imagination:

Two truths and a lie: Take turns, with each of you stating three sentences. Two of them will be true, and one will be a lie. Your partner will have to determine which is the lie based on how well they know you! You could even throw in a few new rules, like for each correct answer, your partner removes an article of clothing of their choosing. The whole point is to have fun and engage, so be creative and enjoy the moment!

This or that: This is another amazing game for couples. You name 2 things (whatever you want, but they must be connected to one another in some way), and your partner chooses the one they think you prefer. For example, cold or warm weather, cats or dogs, jeans or leggings, ice cream or cake, Italian or Asian food, etc. You can choose literally any subject in the world. If you’re already in a long-term relationship, now’s your chance to get creative!

Healthy competition builds respect and intimacy. And you know what they say … couples that pay together, stay together.

Ok so we went a little left with this one … but that was intentional. First, it’s not likely you’ve done this with anyone, much less with your partner.

And doing something brand new together creates an opportunity to make exciting new memories.

Besides, it’s a fun activity! It doesn’t require a particular skill set, you have to work together to build it or else it’ll come tumbling down, and in the end, you’ll have a nice memento of your teamwork (and a tasty late-night snack).

If gingerbread isn’t your thing, try something different - a birdhouse, model car, 3D puzzle - anything. Idle hands breed boredom. So put them to work in creative ways (in and out of the bedroom) by doing fun, off-the-beaten-path activities like this.

George Bernard Shaw had it right when he said that dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire! We’ve talked about the benefits of moving your body, being vulnerable, and trying new things earlier, but dancing specifically has its own set of engaging benefits.

For starters, dancing opens up energy channels of feeling and connection. It’s rejuvenating, fun, sexy, intimate, reinforces good communication, and fosters respect. The physical act of dancing is a great stress reliever, and the positive feelings about the shared experience can have you in high anticipation for alone time later on.

If you or your partner doesn’t want to take a class, fire up YouTube and break it down in your living room. Turn on some music videos and see if you can mirror what they do. Or simply play some of your favorite songs and freestyle. Start by sliding on the floor in your socks if you’re really nervous - that is easy to do, and will break the ice and make things comfortable. The point is to move together, have some fun, show some vulnerability, and create a memorable experience.

If you thought we weren’t going to include the obvious in our list of 10 things to do as a couple, you thought wrong. But there’s a reason we put it last.

While sex is an extremely close, sensual activity that requires vulnerability, trust, connection, and desire, all of those things are amplified significantly if you’re consistently doing things outside of the bedroom that cultivates those same emotions.

Sex isn’t something you ‘do’ as a couple. It’s a shared experience. One that’s meant to bring you closer together. If you have a strong foundation, and consistently work on building and reinforcing it, sex is better, more fulfilling, and far more intimate than it would be as an act on its own.

Sex is an important part of any intimate relationship. If you’re monogamous, it’s the one thing that separates the relationship you have with your partner from the relationship you have with anyone else. But it's also important to remember that it isn’t the only thing that unites you as a couple. If you want to have the best, most robust, mind-blowing sex as a couple, learn to become intentional in your ‘every days.’

In conclusion, it's time to break away from the unrealistic expectations set by popular media and focus on the REAL moments that build a strong and intimate relationship. These small and seemingly mundane moments are what ultimately forge deep connections and keep the fire of love and desire burning. So, let's embrace the ‘every day’ and use the tips we discussed here to make them memorable, intentional, and full of love.